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Fairie Beans Diary Friday 5, September 2008  

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Entry Title Note Posted
Farewell Ann Very sad![Jodieandherworld] 2008-08-21 17:53:53

Farewell Ann I am so sorry... my deepest condolesences... ((hugs))[Ravens Misery] 2008-08-19 14:54:02

Farewell Ann I'm so sorry. You must feel so devastated. My heart hurts for all who have been affected by her passing away. Two of my good friends lost a parent fighting cancer. It's such a tragedy even from the get go because so many of these illnesses are hard to beat, but you have to always hold onto your faith. Everything is in the hands of God eventually.
She doesn't have to suffer anymore.


[SlayerChick]
2008-08-16 11:43:04

Farewell Ann I am so sorry for your loss! I lost my best friend P in January of that ugly Cancer. I miss her every day. Her life partner C is such a mess. They were together for 33 years. I have talked C into coming with her little dog to spend the weekend with us. I hope she doesn't change her mind.

I have missed you!!! How is T and J doing? How is Maya? A whole lot of crap has happened to us since your last entry. Hope you update more often, I've been hoping everything was OK with you. I know...I'm a worrier!  D-  
[Oldhousegal]
2008-08-15 08:38:37

Farewell Ann I'm so sorry. She was young. But look what a beautiful impact she has made![twilightglitter] 2008-08-14 23:43:37

Farewell Ann I am sorry to hear that.. Crying or Very sad She was too young to be taken her life away. [masako] 2008-08-14 22:46:46

Humid as Hell! Where ya been?[thatpotsmokinghippy] 2008-07-01 12:00:59

Humid as Hell! thanks so much for the comment!
i wish i knew how to connect the people that feel so seperated. i know these people have cable(they most likely don't watch cnn but i know bet and mtv have lil political commercials) i just really hope they wake up and do the right thing. i wish i knew how to reach out to them

[1bap]
2008-06-08 13:10:57

Humid as Hell! Hey, I think I was married to that guy, my first husband!!!! What kind of stupid boss does J have? I mean J works for children's services and that boss should commend J for having had foster children and surely knows how unfit parents can be! The boss should have had her back no matter what! Gosh there are so many idiots out there in a position of authority. Good to see an update from you!!!! How is Maya doing at her new home? Good I hope.      D-

[Oldhousegal]
2008-06-06 08:18:34

Humid as Hell! I never had that kind of experience in my life so far though. It is really troblesome Very Happy That type of guy live here a lot , too. [masako] 2008-06-06 08:09:13

The Sky Looks Kinda Scary!

I hate storm and lightning as you have already known. The rainy season just started lately. I hope this year we won't have them many.

Have a nice day ! Very Happy

[masako]
2008-06-04 07:12:43

The Sky Looks Kinda Scary!

Storms terrify me too but they get me so excited! I love seeing the sky change colour. It's such a new thing for me considering I'm not use to beautiful scenes lol.
I find weather reports are such a load of b.s most of the time. The weather's unpredictable! :P
Yeah I get the same as you. When I'm alone, I suddenly feel more in danger. I think it's just having another soul with you that eases the fear. Us human beings do not enjoy loner-ism lol.
I love the sight of snow storms. but theyre not so nice being in. we got stuck right in the center of a snow storm actually, but thats a long tale for another day/century.
I hope T gets whats needed. It's sad when you know that the school is lacking funding for that sort of thing, makes you wonder where all the money goesRolling Eyes... Im glad our schools here are well on their way in providing all necessities.
Have a great night! Try not to think of the lightning/thunderous storm right outside your window:P

-Rana.
=)

[SlayerChick]
2008-05-30 18:18:45

The Sky Looks Kinda Scary!

i am with you on the whole not that keen on storms!! my fear is due partly to a rather lovely nun who was my teacher when i was a child and she used to regale us with storm stories of ppl she knew who was killed by lightening etc!!! great huh?  lol ..i have never seen a snow storm except on tv to me they look kinda eerie.

i am sorry that your son doesnt appear to be getting the help from school he deserves, it does seem that sometimes they appear to let kids fall through the nets...which helps noone.  i have no idea about the american system but like you say there should be something...if he responds well to you guys maybe a lil home schooling or reinforcement at home is in order.

good luck

[nerfina]
2008-05-27 20:36:03

The Sky Looks Kinda Scary! I really don't mind the storms if they are off in the distance, as a matter of fact I can sleep like a baby to distant thunder. When it gets close is another story. I am so sick of the weather, we just have not had a normal spring, it has been rainy and below normal temps. It is almost June!!!  You are right about the global warming thing. People better get a clue before it is too late!!!! I worry about the little ones, what will the weather be like when they are our age? Look how much it has changed since we were kids. There were actual seasons, there was a spring and a fall, now it seems we go from summer to winter. I asked my mom once how they dealt with the extreme summers as kids on a farm with no electric, not even a fan!!! She said that it wasn't near as hot as it gets now. The winters were colder and more harsh but the summers were much less severe than we have today.

That just makes me mad about T's school. Does Canada just let the people with special problems slip through the cracks? What becomes of them? If they cannot get special help as children then how do they function as adults. Imagine the people out there with kids like T and with even worse issues that don't give a tin sh*t about their kids. What becomes of them?

You know, I complain about a lot of things here in the States, but I have to say, education is not survival of the fittest. As you know there are many special programs that deal with a wide range of special education problems.
Canada could take a lesson from us on that topic. But T is in good hands with the 2 awesome parents that he has, I just wish you guys lived in the states, it seems that special health and education problems are not a top priority in Canada. What a shame. I wish you the best!!! D-



[Oldhousegal]
2008-05-27 05:32:31

Maya has a new home! I never thought about those ideas with Arnold but I will sure try them. He was a little pill again today. He just refuses to leave Ollie alone and Ollie's warnings are getting more severe. I'm scared for the little devil. He will turn right around and go behind Ollie and bite his tail. And I know that it hurts like hell, my fingers have been a source for his enjoyment.LOL.

About the neighbors thinking we are rich, I think they know we are the hillbillies on the block. We really don't fit in here. All the houses on this street for about 3 blocks are big old historic homes. They are the upper crust. Some of the homes across the street have been in the same family for generations. Doctors, Lawyers and an elderly judge directly across from us. We got the house cheap. I couldn't believe it. It really looked rough but we saw right away that it was mostly cosmetic.The realty company that was selling it was out of state. They had no idea what they had here.

Its really funny, I see landscaping people out in the other yards and there I am all hunkered over my flower beds. And these rich old dolls are walking their designer dogs. Most don't even say hello, I guess they think I'm the hired help LOL. I guess that is why the house next door sold so fast in such a sh*tty market. Bills cousin  was a great neighbor. They didn't fit in either LOL.  I still haven't seen those people. I notice the cars come and go but wouldn't know them if they knocked on the door. I hope they don't. By the look of the vehicles they drive, they fit right in.  Well I'm glad that everything with Maya has been smooth. Talk to ya later, D-



[Oldhousegal]
2008-05-23 19:46:41

Maya has a new home!

I have the most gentle sweetest pitbull ever.  But he was raised well, he does not have an agressive bone in his 75 lbs body. 

 

[thatpotsmokinghippy]
2008-05-23 13:43:54

Cookies and a possible new home for Maya. Aw, I feel bad for J. That has to be hard on her. I know she really loves Maya but I know where you are coming from and it really is for her own good. If she jumps the fence and gets hit it would be devastating. I hope T deals with it OK too. It is such a hard thing to do.

I can't tell you how many times I have doubted our decision to get a new puppy. For one thing I knew Ollie would just hate it and he still does. It really is starting to stress me out that Arnold can't get within 2 feet of him and he is growling and he will even snap when he gets too close. Poor Arnold just can't understand why he doesn't like him. Either that or Arnold is thinking I'm bored...hmmm...I know! Aggravate the old man! LOL. Then there is the fact that I am slowly becoming more crippled and chasing after a new pup is a lot of work! I know I have lost some patience in the past 13 years since Ollie was little cause I find myself getting pissed at the daily accidents. This house is so large that I just can't chase him room to room and that is when he pisses. I am usually in the family room and it is like a central hub of the house. There are 4 rooms off of it and all of them have huge wide doorways so blocking them is out.

To top it all off, I got on the Internet today and looked up everything I could find on Jack Russells and what I read made me fear the loss of what sanity I have left. I love the little guy and there is no way he is going anywhere but OMG! These dogs are super high energy. One article even says if you want a lap dog JRTs are not a good choice. They are a bull headed breed too and will try to dominate everyone and everything in their path! Oh Goody! Bill picked the breed because Ollie has it in him and he is super smart. But Ollie and I lived alone for about 8 years. Just him and me. Guess I'll get on Ebay and buy a book on training a JRT.

I hope Maya finds a great new home. I really do believe that it is almost impossible to teach a old dog new tricks. You almost have to have the Dog Whisperer come to help. My first husband and I adopted a black lab that was 4 years old and it was a nightmare! He sh*t everywhere and even chewed the rubber bumper up on my husbands truck! Now that was funny LOL. We had to get rid of him though, it was like he was nuts. But we found him a good home. Good Luck!!!!! D-


[Oldhousegal]
2008-05-22 18:49:20

No doc today. I am really sorry about your son. Neutral Maybe he need to be taken picture of his brain and need to find out what is wrong. Maybe he has less of serotonin than he need to has. I will keep praying for your son. I hope the day you can bring your son to see the doctor come to sooner than you expect. [masako] 2008-05-22 03:37:48

No doc today. Wow, that has to be stressful! I feel like a big whiny baby about my dealings with M after hearing your daily struggles. It just may be the best thing for T to be medicated. It may prevent him from hurting himself or others. Does he hit other kids at school? Would it be horribly expensive to have him see a doc across the border in the States? Is there any kind of Shriner's in Canada? They help children free of charge when they are seriously ill. Maybe he should see a child psychologist. You probably thought of all this already. Maybe do a little research online and email as many specialists with his symptoms as you can. I would beg for help, that is just too damn long to wait to see a doctor when a childs health is at sake. Remember, You and J are tough cookies and you will get through to someone. My prayers to you, D-
[Oldhousegal]
2008-05-20 12:27:37

Poor T is still sick. Poor little T. I feel so sorry for him and for you two also. It is such a helpless feeling when the little ones are sick! You so badly want to take it on yourself. It never has seemed fair to me all the things that kids have to endure just to become adults. And we all know being an adult is no picnic either. I remember that I wanted a baby when I was around 8. I asked my mom how soon I could have one and I guess that horrified her. LOL. Then I asked her if she could give me a little sis or brother. That horrified her even more!

It is so sad about J's mom. I could just cry. It is heart wrenching when someone you love is slipping away right before your eyes. It happened with my aunt. I wanted to see her and be with her but everytime I visited I left and sat in my car and cried. I missed her so bad and she was right there...but not. Such a cruel disease.  Well good luck with T and give him a hug for me.   D-

[Oldhousegal]
2008-05-19 07:15:26

Rotten Day Yesterday

Thank you for nice comment. Very Happy I think so,too. that strange lady shouldn't have followed  your niece to come to your place. maybe she still haven't had adult sprit yet. Well, I am lucky to have my mom here with me. I guess your mother thanks to you from her buttom of her heart but probably she has something that bothers her to be obedient to your kindness. Have a nice weekend !

[masako]
2008-05-17 06:32:27

Rotten Day Yesterday I am happy to hear from you ! What was bothering Leo is the sound of the thunder. I couldn't hear it clearly but for dogs ear. They have a lot better than human. I am sorry to hear that about your son. I hope he will get better soon ! [masako] 2008-05-16 06:31:18

Rotten Day Yesterday i hope your boy is feeling better real soon ...the only thing i would add to what you are doing to get his fever down is sips of water often ..if he can tolerate water that is ...[nerfina] 2008-05-15 10:28:32

Rotten Day Yesterday I've missed your entries! I have been thinking about Maya and Hannah too. Hope everything is going OK there. Sorry to hear about T being so sick! How scary that he was laughing! I would have been calling 911 just for that! See, you can handle what you need to. You really showed a lot of courage to get the cab, worry you would be late, go to the bank and above all be scared you would fall and get hurt compounding the situation!!! I am proud of you! And poor J, having to worry about T all day and still help other kids while her own is so sick! And be exhausted to boot! She is a toughie too. I will include your little family in my prayers...including the doggies! D-
[Oldhousegal]
2008-05-15 10:17:16

Frustration How have you been ? Very HappyI hope everything goes well with you ! [masako] 2008-05-13 00:54:29

Frustration

When you figure out how to wiggle your nose and make it all disappear, you be sure to let me know!

Oh I hope T does not have leukemia, kids should never be sick.  It breaks my heart to think of sick little ones.

[thatpotsmokinghippy]
2008-05-10 08:46:54

Frustration

Thank you for keping touch with me. Unfortuantely my brother and his ex-wife haven't been remain friendly each other.

The accident with the train was not so scary to compare to the earthquake we had several years ago. Very Happy  Have a nice day !

[masako]
2008-05-09 04:06:59

Frustration Where have you been? I love your comments and I got to tell you, you are my favorite on here. I feel as if I really know you, and you think like I do, so that makes you really cool! LOL. But I have been wondering about Maya and Hannah and how all that is going. Anyway, update soon, I miss ya! D-

[Oldhousegal]
2008-05-08 20:47:46

Frustration First off, I could'nt have said it better. I feel the same way about the old houses. I am a house hugger! LOL. Now about Maya. I am so sorry to hear that she is so aggressive! But I hope I can offer you a glimmer of hope. I got Ollie before he was even weened. I had to use an eye dropper to feed him. (stupid ex husband)

Well when my mom went to the hospital, I had to go to her house and get Hairyhead. I was leary cause Ollie thinks Im his momma. And it was his house. I put Hairyhead down all the while talking to Ollie about being nice, and turned my head long enough to put my purse down and it was on. Somehow I got bit trying to seperate them. It seemed like forever before Bill got there to help me. We had to keep Hairyhead in the basement. She would dart out everytime you opened the door and ran straight to Ollie. It was a nightmare, Mom was dying, we were working on the house so we could get in cause our previous one sold four days after we listed it. We thought we had months, the new owners wanted us out, dying mother or not. I was a mess. I was going to get rid of Hairyhead and then the day before Mom passed she said "please keep Hairyhead and love her". So I let her out of the basement and things were tense. The food and water bowl took the longest. But now they are inseperable. I really believe that if you keep showing Maya who is boss and the puppy gets a little bigger, it will work out. Good Luck! D-
[Oldhousegal]
2008-05-01 17:36:00

Frustration Sorry I put the same comments three times ! [masako] 2008-05-01 03:53:42

Frustration I also have a problem with my dog Leo. He has been so hysterical since he was puppy. In my family no one didn't get hurt by him. My case is I accidentally stepped on his tail not knowing he was so close to me when I was talking with one of my friends through the phone. He got very angry at me and bit me around my right ankle. Even though he is such a dog. He can be so sweet and funny sometimes. Everybody love him. I think your problem with your Maya is not only your problem. It can be a problem of me and Leo. [masako] 2008-05-01 03:43:11

Got My Mask-Finally!

Check this out...maybe it'll make you feel better.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guillermo_Vargas

[SleeplessInABQ]
2008-05-01 00:31:30

Fellings about Mom. I am sorry that you had to grow up with all that and you are still suffering today. My mom was alot like yours. She made me crazy for years. For my own sanity I did what your siblings did. I stayed away for almost 3 years and I just lived a few blocks away! I felt so bad about that but I just had to step back. Every time we were together she would call my brother all kinds of names and how terrible he was to her, and then I would get a dose of her wrath. I am a person that has fought depression all my life and every single time I was over there, I left so depressed, and try as I might, I couldnt shake it. Rocker tells me she talked to him about me the same way. I wasnt at all surprised. He and I determined early on to NEVER go over there after 2pm or she would be drunk and really hateful.

She owned a bar, and everyone loved her. She was the life of the party. She would tell her friends how horrible her kids were. I cant tell you how many drunk men would decide to be her hero and slam one of us against the wall when we came in. She would just sit there and play victim. A single mom trying to make it with horrible, disrespectful kids. She brought one a**h*** home one nite and they walked in the door he ripped the phone out of my hand and the wall. He grabbed me by the throat. Out of the clear blue!! Mom sat there while this guy called me every name in the book and strangled me. My brother heard the commotion and knocked the guy off me. He tried to fight Rocker but Rocker socked him and threw him out. Boy mom screamed then.

 I felt so cheated out of a good, strong mother/daughter relationship. I never could get her to say she was sorry for anything that she did. But I had to get it off my chest. I tried to get her to fess up to the way she treated us and it just turned into a big screaming match which I knew I couldnt win or get thru, so I stayed away. Finally I wrote her a letter (she couldnt scream at a letter) I held no punches, I told her all of it, the way I thought she was, the things she did and did not do, the men she chose over us, just all of it. I also told her the way I wish it had been and that I loved her, I really did but I was so very hurt by the things she said and the things she didnt. Maybe seeing it in print and not being able to argue back, I dont know, but it was a turning point for us. We became close for the first time ever. Sad that she was to die just a few years later. I took it so hard. I finally had my mom and then she suddenly died. I think about her all the time and I have her ashes on the mantle. I talk to her alot. I know she is around me sometimes. Gosh I rattled enough. But it makes me feel better somehow to tell you this. Thank You. D- 
[Oldhousegal]
2008-04-26 08:13:35

Parvo's Over. Whew! Had'nt heard from you for a couple days and I was worried that you might be mourning. I am so THRILLED to hear about Maya. I can't imagine what a mess I would be if Ollie or Hairyhead were that sick! It seems that on the days that I hurt so bad so does Ollie, he moves so slow and deliberate and I worry, worry, worry! I also know what you mean about the farm stores. I like just walking around and looking at stuff. We have a place called Buchheits around here and they sell everything from baby chicks to kitchen cabinets. There are huge bins of dog, rabbit horse, and all kinds of animal food that you buy by the pound. Get it out with a big scoop! Its awesome. They sell western clothing and boots. They have a section of old fashioned kitchen stuff like big old iron skillets and blue spatterware. When I want to go there, Bill rolls his eyes (he is a city boy) and heads for the "tool corral" and lets me roam around. It is what I imagine an old general store would have offered in the early 1900's. Anyway, Im thrilled to hear you have made it over this scarry hurdle! My prayers were with you and yours! D- 
[Oldhousegal]
2008-04-24 08:45:13

N/A I hope your dogs are getting better and better each day. I am worried about them,too. I hope you will have a great day with them pretty soon. [masako] 2008-04-23 22:10:30

Hannah's Home She looks so sweet..[Justamom05] 2008-04-22 20:24:56

N/A You and your babies (that is what they are) are in my prayers, The pic of Maya is so sweet and she looks like a lover. I hope your next entry is much better news! hang in there!!!! D-
[Oldhousegal]
2008-04-21 18:26:17

N/A Pedealite (sp?) works well to rehydrate.[thatpotsmokinghippy] 2008-04-21 13:54:16

Shazam!! There are so many beautiful things in the world waiting for him to see with such beautiful blue eyes. [masako] 2008-04-20 19:09:02

Hannah's Home

Your dog is gorgeous!!

I love dogs. I've got two, a Maltese sh*tzu and a Jack Russell X Mini Foxie. They're my world.

Was your dog sick? What was wrong with her? I hope she's better, or at least beginning to get better!, now.

[happygal]
2008-04-20 05:42:10

Hannah's Home Little cute hannah, I am happy to see her ! [masako] 2008-04-18 23:08:57

Maya Your dogs are precious.[Justamom05] 2008-04-18 18:43:04

Hershey Soooo Cute! Very Happy[Justamom05] 2008-04-18 18:41:50

Hannah's Getting Better!! I know just how you feel. It is so hard for me to believe that at one time I was a well built cheerleader. I thought I was fat then. After highschool  I played softball and had guys begging to take me out. I have now added about 150 lbs. to what I thought was fat. I will miss winter for one reason. The coat that I can hide behind. Everytime I leave the house I pray that I dont see someone I went to highschool with. I am ashamed of the weight and the fact that I dont walk with a smooth stride, I walk like a crippled fat lady. So glad to hear about Hannah. It just proves the power of prayer, you have been in mine. I hope things will continue to improve and I will keep you and yours in my prayers. D-


















[Oldhousegal]
2008-04-18 05:35:16

Parvo Really ? I am happy to hear that. Very Happy[masako] 2008-04-17 23:00:00

Parvo I am so sorry about your puppy. I know its scary. There are a couple ways to bleach your yard. first is to use a pump srayer ( like you use to spay for weeds or bugs) the other way is a sprayer that hooks to your hose that mixes the water with the bleach as you use it. MIne came with mircle grow for my flowers. [Justamom05] 2008-04-16 23:23:28

Parvo I am devastated for you! I cant believe the bad luck with the van and all. Sometimes it seems that you just cant deal with anymore. But you can. I believe that it makes a person stronger. It is so hard to see that when you are in the middle of a crisis. I believe that I would be asking these breeders some very serious questions. I would consider suing and I am not a sue happy person. You will be out alot more than the price of the dog due to their negligence.
I have to tell you, I have never paid a dime for a dog. I have always got mutts. I have always been scared that they have been bred to the point that brother and sister or father and daughter have inner bred and I will get a dummy. My prayers are with you and your family!!! D-


[Oldhousegal]
2008-04-16 15:17:19

Parvo

Oh I am so sorry.  That sucks.

I had a pup die of parvo.  The vet reconmended using a garden hose and diluted bleach water on our yard to kill the virus.  I don't know how ecologically sound that is, so I'd do some research first.

I hope things look up.  When it rains, it pours, huh?

[thatpotsmokinghippy]
2008-04-16 15:03:17

Parvo Poor Hannah, I understand totally how you feel about her. What I can do for your Hannah is just praying. [masako] 2008-04-16 07:07:50

New Puppy I hope your puppy is okay:)[thatpotsmokinghippy] 2008-04-15 15:23:10

Birthday and Tricycle progress.

Happy Birthday! I am from Oklahoma so I see a lot of tornado warnings.  Just the other day. I was about an hr from home and it started to storm.  The sky turned greenish and it started to hail.  We were inside a convience store and they blew the tornado sirens.  I was so scared.  I wanted to stay in the shelter but my husband was in a hurry so we drove thru the hail.

Found out later that there was a tornado like 5 miles away that took out a block or so.  Better safe than sorry, right?

That is awesome tht T is riding his trike! 

[thatpotsmokinghippy]
2008-04-11 17:57:10

Birthday and Tricycle progress. [Ravens Misery] 2008-04-11 13:07:39

Birthday and Tricycle progress. Happy Birthday to you!!!!! Thank you for the advice, it sure is appreciated! Welcome to the forty something club. All I can say about this club is it is better than belonging to the 50 something club!  LOL D-
[Oldhousegal]
2008-04-11 10:41:28

Birthday and Tricycle progress. signing paintings is a trick really, a) find a very fine tipped brush that is not to flimsy and b)thin your paint down some it makes it flow much easier!!!!at first it always looked bad but i finnally have the hang of it! thank you again for the great idea... I never thought of an epi-pen! that would make me feel better[clearlycrzy] 2008-04-11 10:01:14

Trying a picture & Happy 40th Birthday To Me

oh no I wasnt offend at all.  Yeah Signing helps to any children, hearing or deaf, children with disability. because you know, it allow you to have communicate, My neice ( she is 6 mos old and she is hearing) she knows signs to milk, more, mom, sleep, play, hurt etc.  and now every time she cries,  we ask her whats wrong and she tells us what she wanted, instead of throwing fits or cry all the time  and we try one thing to another Razz.  I think Signing is just something that kids could take in easily.  I heard from adults that it is very hard to move your hands , the younger you learn it the better you will sign. The older you learn, the harder..  lol

You have a nice day, again, I wasnt offend. btw cute pic!

[Deafchick]
2008-04-11 07:29:38

Trying a picture & Happy 40th Birthday To Me He is so cute ! You painting his face that way ?[masako] 2008-04-10 22:43:43

Trying a picture & Happy 40th Birthday To Me Obviously I taught my children signs.  Half of my family is deaf, so you HAVE to learn how to sign in order to communicate. Razz My children considred older than their age because of their skills.  My daughter is 4 but they consider her 7 years old. My son is 2 and half and they considered him 5 years old. So you could say they are smart :)  and to the hearing test, I AM HAPPY that he is completely deaf.  Myself, I am deaf and My daughter is deaf too  :)[Deafchick] 2008-04-10 18:55:24

Trying a picture & Happy 40th Birthday To Me What pretty blue eyes![thatpotsmokinghippy] 2008-04-10 17:32:26

Trying a picture & Happy 40th Birthday To Me Thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOO much for letting me know I am not the only one!!! As you said... I worry every time i take one that I might die. Specially during the night! I know it is psycological but when you have nearly died it is so scary. The first time I almost dies from it I was like you and had been on it for like 6 days and I was having a bad time breathing and my mother made me go to the hospital I just thought it was an asthma attack when we got to the ER I was so sick my mother had to register me and then I just stopped breathing and don't remeber the next ten or fifteen minutes! There was a nurse kind of slapping my face and she was asking me how long I had had the rash... I didn't even know I had a rash! I am just glad for my mum or my daughter wouldn't have a mum[clearlycrzy] 2008-04-10 16:06:11

Trying a picture & Happy 40th Birthday To Me

it worked! good job

now can you help me?

How do you put pictures up?Very Happy

[xinnocentdancex]
2008-04-10 12:10:31

Stinky Mornings

wow what a tough road you are following. all the power in the world to you and your partner.

my daughter hated school and reading and writing thing ..i was actually told she was 'a lil' backward when it came to reading ..what i did and it may not work for all but i got books on things she loved which was charmed and sabrina etc and got her into books that way ..now at age 11 they cant register her level she is off their charts!! (sorry had to skite ..proud mum bit). 

i have read in books and all that alot of boys dont really get school and stuff till they are like 7 or 8 they just arent wired for it..there is even a school of thought that suggests boys dont start school till that age.

have you tried lil games like dot to dot with him? its a game and fun but you can do letters and stuff with the dots..sometimes it works.

sorry if i sound preachy or it seems like i am trying to teach you to suck eggs ...just a couple of thoughts i had Smile

[nerfina]

2008-04-09 20:34:28

Great Weekend.

As many reasons as there are to hate someone,  their sexual preference should not be on of them. 

How about forming an angry mob for the guy talking on his cell in a restuaraunt?  Or smoking in the car with kids?  But becasue someone is gay?  Your (or anyone's) being gay has NO effect on me.  Just as my being straight has no bearing on your life.  Ignorence.  That is all this is. 

Have a good day:)

[thatpotsmokinghippy]
2008-04-08 15:02:20

Great Weekend.

i have to say ..that drives me really mad to hear of gay harrassment like that!!..i am not gay (faghag from way back lol) i do feel ashamed that in this day and age ignorance like that is still tolerated.

i am glad you had a good weekend tho ..and thanks for visiting my diary..

i hope those men get a place to call home and a safe one at that real soon Smile they deserve it.

[nerfina]
2008-04-08 09:28:43

Happy Birthday J. my husband John had his 37th birthday today[clearlycrzy] 2008-04-05 00:38:31

A Sunnier Day. i'm sorry that you're sick, and i'm sorry that J is acting that way[InMyHead19] 2008-04-02 05:43:38

Nice Weekend Hi, I know all about the endless repairs and the huge trees. It is so expensive to have them trimmed much less cut down. We have a massive one that is pushing up our patio and it is much too close to the back of the house, it has to go but the $ is tight, so do you bite the bullet and do it or let it ruin the house?
 I got so engrossed in your story, I read from start to now. I feel I know you. If we lived closer, I know we would be friends. I see so much of myself in the way you think and express yourself. I really was so sorry that you and J had to leave her childhood home. That was sad. How did your current house flood? Is it the area you are in or did a pipe burst? I have nightmares about that. I have a basement full of my moms stuff that I havent had the courage to go thru yet. She has been gone 2 years now. Most is junk that I need to throw away but it is so hard cause I know that every item meant something to her. Well, again, I ramble. Thanks D-

[Oldhousegal]
2008-04-01 07:54:46

A Sunnier Day.

Hi Fairie Beans,  It was a blessing to read your comment this morning.  I am touched that it has brought you hope for you, your mother and sisters.  We, humans, need eternally springing hope to survive and to thrive. 

It has been a long hard, trying journey for me.  I did not have any hope for my mother to ever soften or gentle.  She has wanted to die for so many years.  I think you are right that cancer gives a way for the bitterness, pain, anguish, brokeness, anger, hatred, to leave one's body.  I had thought that she would only heal once she left this life but through the Lord's grace a way has been provided for her to heal on this side.  I am blessed to know this, to experience it.

I know have hope that there may one day be a better relationship between my mother and I.  I have worked long and hard for my own healing.  Yesterday was a major breakthrough in my healing.  I may never have the knowing of a healthy relationship between mother and daughter but I may know with her a healthy relationship between adults who mutually respect each other.  I would be grateful for this much.

I pray that the lord will grace you with healing for yourself and your family. 

[MorningDove]
2008-03-28 12:07:32

A Sunnier Day. You have said things that hit home for me. I hope you get things straight. I think baby steps would work for you. Make a list of what you want to change, from most important to the lest.  Tackle them one at a time. There are many ways to loose weight with out the G-bypass.  I diet more than not. I have had weight issues most of my life. I didn't think I could do it but a 3 years ago I lost 100 pounds. I gain some and loose some all the time but I am better off still than I was before. With the weight loss alot of my problems also went away. The Atkins is a great diet for inactive people. I wish you luck. If you ever need to talk I'm here.  (((((BIG HUG))))) [Justamom05] 2008-03-26 17:06:01

Trying to figure it all out. I really hope things get better, you do not deserve this.  Some of the things she said struck me right in the heart.  Ouch.  I could not imagine telling someone that.  It would not be any different if you were in car wreck and are disabled.  No one wishes for diabetes.  Not like you chose this affliction.  Maybe you guys could get some couples therapy.  It sounds like there are a lot of hidden issues.  YOu gotta find a way to love you. [thatpotsmokinghippy] 2008-03-25 16:44:26

D's Big News

thank you for the comment, we cant help some people sometimes.

fly

[flygirlfly]
2008-03-19 21:22:28

Worried About Mom I hope your mom feels better.  I just wanted to tell you that I have been reading your diary and it's like now I remember why I love this place.  I am on entry 46 lol [thatpotsmokinghippy] 2008-03-17 21:19:07

Winter Weather Alert I was just reading some old entries of yours, Congratulations on the marriage!  [thatpotsmokinghippy] 2008-03-17 20:07:27

Happy 2008! I can't imagine being in your situtation-- I need interaction with people close by. But it sounds like you are teaching your son a really, really healthy attitude towards things. I wish that more people would do that, let their children know a family doesn't have to be a mum, a dad, 2.5 children and a dog. That's the only way the next generation are going to be more tolerant than much of the current. Good luck with everything. And I also think you are brave to not go back into the closet just because it would make things easier perhaps in a small town. Be proud of who you are! And your boy sounds wonderful and it seems you love him so much so that's the main thing![happygal] 2008-01-11 05:54:14

We're Having A Baby!!

CONGRATS TO YOU BOTH!!Mr. Green

[NotSoLovelyLife]
2008-01-10 11:22:42

We're Legally Married *huge hugs* I'm so happy for you and J. I'll be praying for your son. I certainly understand your frustration. I hope he gets well soon and i'm really so happy for you and J and your little family. :) [Czarria] 2003-06-18 10:46:53

We're Legally Married Congratulations on your marriage!!! On the other hadn I can't believe Canadian health care that is rediculous! I hope you can bring him to the US soon to get proper health care. God bless. [Exclaim] 2003-06-16 08:32:58

It's A Boy, I'm A Permanent Resident In Canada Hey, thanks for your concern. I've just been so busy. I have so much to update about, but haven't had time... I have started so many updates and had to stop. Are you a new reader or have you been reading awhile? I'm not sure that we're accquainted. Congratulations on your new baby. I'll keep your family in my thoughts. Again, thanks for checking on me : ) ~Andi [Miss Holly Golightly] 2003-04-30 13:02:10

It's A Boy, I'm A Permanent Resident In Canada That is soo great! Congrats to you on your child and your residency! I hope that everything continues to go so well. [Exclaim] 2003-03-23 16:51:49

It's A Boy, I'm A Permanent Resident In Canada I'm so glad you updated. I"m so glad to hear the news. *dances* :) *hugs you* How do you pronounce his middle name? [Czarria] 2003-03-20 21:41:40

The Fearsome Four Maybe now you can find me :) I hope you get my e-mail. I appreciate all the effort it took for you to find my email to begin with.. I feel like an ass for not leaving a note sooner... [Sybella Camille] 2003-01-17 17:09:29

The Fearsome Four I have stumbled upon your diary while surfing. I admire what you are doing for these kids, and do not blame you one bit for having S.S. come and get them... But does it not break your heart? I used to do foster care, and after the last child we had decided I couldn't stand to have one more broken heart. It is the hardest thing anyone can do, taking these kids into your home and your heart. And yet, people think that you are in it for the money. That is a joke!!!! I also have four children of my own, and found that the influence of some of these children was more of a cost than I was willing to pay. I am glad I found your diary, and look forward to reading more. [Roma] 2003-01-06 20:40:30

The Fearsome Four To be honest I didn't realize people like you existed. I don't know how you were able to handle all that. I would of literally had a break down. I agree with the above statement.. God Bless You! [Nikita21] 2002-12-23 01:54:55

The Fearsome Four God bless you!!! [Exclaim] 2002-12-21 02:57:57

The Fearsome Four My god this is horrible. :( I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, and sadder that no one CAN deal with that kind of behavior and shouldn't have to. Those kids are fucked for life now. I just dont understand..Merry Christmas honey. [Czarria] 2002-12-21 00:04:14

Itchy and Scratchy I want to thank you for writing this entry... I thought a lot about my foster parents after reading it and last night I got in touch with them on the phone and we talked for a couple or hours. My old foster mom cried when she heard it was me... I thanked her for what she did for me... [alcoholichousewife] 2002-12-14 12:55:30

Itchy and Scratchy Best wishes to those poor little girls. It's good to see things are going well with you. I hope you have a Merry Christmas. [Exclaim] 2002-12-13 11:50:54

Itchy and Scratchy what is wrong with people???? WHY are they sending those poor girls back to their "mother"????? ...........WHY??????... those poor little girls. I'm glad that you were there to give them some love for the short time you had them.. It takes a strong person to do what you're doing. I was in a foster home for 2 years when I was a teen. My foster parents were wonderful people. [alcoholichousewife] 2002-12-13 10:49:49

Itchy and Scratchy P.S. Since you probably won't post again before Christmas. Happy Holidays. Hope you and J have a wonderful season together. [Czarria] 2002-12-12 21:50:57

Itchy and Scratchy *hugs* Those poor little girls! that's so disgusting. Even though I pretty much raised myself and was filthy most of my childhood, it was never that bad. I can't even fathom how a mother lets her children go like that. and "falling out of bed". i've heard that somewhere before. What is that judge thinking? :( [Czarria] 2002-12-12 21:50:30

Little Boy Blues *hugs* it's good to hear from you.. your laundry solution sounds like mine. I have entirely to many clothes. I went from having 2 closets and 2 dressers at grandmas to having one closet and 1 and 1/2 dresser and I still haven't moved all my clothes here but I never have room. I have like 2 baskets of clean clothes in baskets cause I can't put them away anywhere and there are mountains all over the bedroom. doh. [Czarria] 2002-12-04 21:18:49

Little Boy Blues Sounds like things are heading up. [Czarria] 2002-10-27 20:50:08

Blood Pressure Problems That's a dangerous blood pressure, not only because of her pregnancy but just in general. I would've thought that a physician would've done something about it without you having to nag her, especially if this has been an ongoing thing. Anyhow, I hope everything is ok with you two. I really admire you for foster parenting, I don't even think I could parent my own kids and it's even harder when you're taking care of a kid that isn't yours. It seems to me parents make more allowances and tolerate things better when it's their own offspring. heh. it's a rough job. Good for you for not letting a child dictate your existance. :) [Czarria] 2002-10-22 22:13:18

Blood Pressure Problems oh the joy of 8 year olds! you're right on not catering to him. he'll adjust. my nephews do the same thing with their mother. i cna't stand it either, but the more tollerable i am of them and the more i tell them this is my house they adjust and realise that maybe mommy isn't right. yet at the same time i realize i have to be sympathetic to them. it's there mommy and well you know how it is with mothers and their boys. keep the faith and give it time i'm sure everything will be alright. i know you're just venting. [Exclaim] 2002-10-22 18:23:31

17 Days With The Kids aren't kids wonderful. my nephews go through the coming and going of their mother as she pleases. it really messes with their heads but they are learning that not every woman is going to leave them. i get pushed away a lot but i still let them know i love them and am there for them. after a while they come back around and our old bond is still strong. kids are very impressionable i am learning and no matter how little you think they understand, they alway amaze you. show him love and he'll come around. good luck with them. [Exclaim] 2002-10-10 11:47:58

17 Days With The Kids Yep. When i was a kid I made life for my stepmother hell, she didn't help but my mother could do no wrong, nevermind that my mom was a drug dealer, she was the goddess and idealized her and I never made it easy for my stepmother. [Czarria] 2002-10-09 19:45:19

Changes So very happy to hear your happy news. Life seems like it should...Happy. MADxo [MAD Hatter] 2002-10-03 13:40:34

Changes Wow that's great that everything is going well with you. Kids can be a handful, but it's well worth it. I love my nephews to death after they came to live with me for a while. It was hard at first but then you start to see all the little joys they bring into your life and you never stop talking about them. I hope that things continue to go well for you. [Exclaim] 2002-09-29 14:42:28

Changes I absolutely despise that kids can just be tossed through school like that, without really learning anything. Maybe he does have ADD, and instead of anyone spending extra time trying to get it into his brain, they pass him so someone else will have to deal with it, and just "hope" someone actualy gives a damn someday. that makes me sick. i've been reading since Kindergarten and I can't imagine all he's missing out on because some lazy or useless teachers just pass him to get him outta their hair. :( [Czarria] 2002-09-29 11:42:41

Ups And Downs =) It'll all work out, I just know it. [Czarria] 2002-09-13 11:10:26

Ups And Downs CONGRAT - FUCKING - LATIONS. 'Bout time and give 'em hell at Immigration. [Free2BMe] 2002-09-12 00:06:22

Ups And Downs It seems like things are on the upside for you. I hope that everything goes well with the adoption and with the lawyers. Good Luck in everything! [Exclaim] 2002-09-11 23:52:17

Immigration Limbo Continues Being Canadian I am very saddened by the actions of the Immigration Dept. Can you imagine, not knowing gay people have children. I am pretty sure Rosie O'Donnell has a few. Anyways hang in there hun, it will happen for you. Good things happen to good people. Many hugs MADxo [MAD Hatter] 2002-09-10 14:41:27

Immigration Limbo Continues Continue with your plans as youve been making them. It will show the immigration bastards that you have a commitment to living your life and that they aren't going to own you. I know it's scary. I can't even imagine how insecure you must feel. I can't believe people are so fucking ignorant as she is about the whole lesbians creating families things. People are so so ignorant and people like her, that have this sort of power should be armed with more KNOWLEDGE. But look on the bright side, you are paving the road. maybe down the road another lesbian couple will come to her and she'll know what's up and I know it may not be a big deal, but you are standing up for what you want and that counts. I think it'll work out for you. Dont let it ruin your happiness and enjoy what happiness you have. It may not be your last and it may not come to an end.. *hugs* my good wishes and prayers are with you both and your family :) [Czarria] 2002-09-05 17:57:09

We're Having A Baby!! i've missed you heaps. i'm SO happy for you. CONGRATS AHEAP. *jumps up and down* hehe . I know how badly you want a family and everythign sounds like it's REALLY coming together. I'm SO happy for you both. I can't stop smiling. :) Let us know when you find out its gender (if you do, or are you gonna wait?) :) *excited for you* [Czarria] 2002-08-21 12:07:55

We're Having A Baby!! Congrats on the baby!!! I too want a baby someday with my girl. Good Luck with immigration. I hope everything goes well. [Exclaim] 2002-08-20 00:59:28

Random Thoughts Jesus Christ. I might not be the easiest kid to contend with if I was getting my hair washed with Dog shampoo either. Unless you have multiple nieces and i'm complicating stuff but DAMN. I mean not to diss your sis, but HELLO!? [Czarria] 2002-03-01 11:30:29

Random Thoughts I hate cancer.. it's so sad :( [The Ketchup Mess] 2002-03-01 11:16:05

Happy New Year... Wow. You and J both deserve an award. That's..horrible. I hope she gets the treatment she needs. Imagine how her husband and kids feel? Geez. [Czarria] 2002-01-03 16:59:42

Happy Thanksgiving.. To bad you're on a diet and to far away. I'm making white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. HEHE. FUDGESICKLES *DROOLS ON SHOES* :) I hope you two have a great thanksgiving. you have a lot to be thankful for this year. [Czarria] 2001-11-21 19:33:24

New journey... Good for you girl!!! NO-one sets your destiny but you. You can do it and remember to love yourself. The whole world aren't assholes, just some of them. [Free2BMe] 2001-11-20 23:50:35

New journey... *hugs* good luck with weight watchers, maybe i should give that stuff a crack. I have to lose 80 lbs and that makes my mind boggle. I can imagine how you feel, with your goal being so difficult. it'll be hard but you'll do it :) You've overcome amazing things and this too shall be accomplished. I'm glad you posted an entry I was missing your words :0 I hope your immigration stuff speeds by so you can feel comfortable at some point. You deserve to be happy and I think you and J will get there. You've overcome amazing things to be together. Don't let any asshole canadians ruin it for you. For every phukhead homophobe there is someone that loves you and thinks you deserve to love and be loved. [Czarria] 2001-11-20 17:15:53

Rambling on..... Good luck. It'll happen I think. You've got angels watching over you two :) frozen turkey huh> how the hell od you pull that off? I know i'd be horrible. I love holidays but haven't had to pull one off yet. Its tradition to go to grandmas. Eric wants to stay in and do it for just the two of us.. butI dont want to. [Czarria] 2001-11-02 16:18:43

Rambling on..... Good luck. I know ya'll will be great parents!! [Free2BMe] 2001-11-02 15:37:03

What A Difference A Day Makes.. heh. this is so cute. You can tell how much freer and lighter and happier you feel it so beams out of your diary and you deserve that. i'm so happy for you. [Czarria] 2001-10-18 17:13:46

Freedom Rings!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! That's so great... [Free2BMe] 2001-10-18 13:07:33

Freedom Rings!!! Yes, good news, FINALLY :) i'm happy you dont have to leave (yet). [Czarria] 2001-10-17 20:00:14

Just the usual rants and raves.... You know when ever I read the sweet words that you write I always want to hug you. I don't want to dispense advice, maybe suggestions...I know the anger of not being able to go out, not be able to do things. Not for the same reason but all the same. Why not volunteer? That is how I got out of the house. It was nice. Your such a big hearted gal, and I know you would be wonderful at it. I started at an old age home and a food bank. Just a thought, if you can relieve some frustration, maybe, the fights will be less. With immigration, just have faith, it will take care of itself. Fingers crossed for you and J. I walked the Aids walk too. Can't help walking for a good cause. As always.... MADxo [MAD Hatter] 2001-10-03 13:51:32

Just the usual rants and raves.... *hugs* I really hope that your immigration succeeds and you get through this before you two cause each other more pain. you are really solid though and at least you know the reasons you two are having these issues [Czarria] 2001-09-30 02:27:07

Just the usual rants and raves.... oh beans..im so sorry that you are feeling down....i hope all this mess comes to an end for you and J real soon..you so do deserve to life and have a normal happy life...and i so wish that for you!!!!!! big hugs to you my friend! [SummerBreeze] 2001-09-29 23:52:41

Tick... Tock... ((((Beans)))) I truely truely hope things work out for you and J....please try to think positive..i understand its so hard to do now...with what is going on in this crazy place we call "the world"....i know how hard you 2 have worked to help keep you there with her...and it does happen that you are allowed to stay...i will be so happy!!!!! also thank you very much for welcoming me back...sorry u had to take me off your favorites...but im glad you found me again....big hugs to you and J!!! [SummerBreeze] 2001-09-19 00:01:59

Tick... Tock... I hope it works out for you two :( I know how much she means to you and you to her. But no matter what happens, it's good you are enjoying NOW. even with dread of the possible future developments. [Czarria] 2001-09-18 22:49:24

And On We Go.....?? (((((Beans))))) OMG..im so sorry for that weekened you and J had awhile back..can not believe some offical would do such things..im so glad you are back home with J where u should be......also i feel your guest and J should understand how u are feeling....and u were justified in letting them have it....please take care and stay safe......and i hope EVERYTHING turns out for you and J...also Congrats on the Baby thing....please keep us inform on how that goes!!!! [SummerBreeze] 2001-09-17 02:07:11

And On We Go.....?? *big hugs* You're right. it was rude of your guests to attempt to guilt you into turning it off. Yes it's depressing, but it's real. It's not some movie you can turn off and make go away. I to, have never really got what it means to be American, and never was to patriotic, but this has changed me some. [Czarria] 2001-09-15 21:58:45

And On We Go.....?? saying goodbye [Trish Moody] 2001-09-15 18:29:38

Tragic Time For Our America ((((((Czarria)))))) I'm so glad to hear that the daycare centers were evacuated. OMG, I don't think we could take another round of little ones being killed over bullshit. Take gentle care. [Fairie Beans] 2001-09-12 17:14:19

Tragic Time For Our America *hugs* I was just reading about a fairly big daycare chain that wrote to everyone to let them know that the daycares in the WTC were evacuated and no children were killed, and i was relieved to hear it and then I thought about all those children that no longer have parents. families ripped apart again and again, and for what? :( It's sad. [Czarria] 2001-09-12 14:34:51

More Immigration Woes... *hugs* i'm so sorry you went through that :( You should totally nail her ass to the wall after you get through this proccess. [Czarria] 2001-09-09 11:38:40

More Immigration Woes... It's awful that somebody would try to do that to you just because you have a same sex partner. I'm glad everything worked out though. [Silky Underwear] 2001-09-09 03:31:38

Passport Nightmares And Other Disasters........ My dear Fairie Beans...please don't get too distraught until something actually happens. If something happens, tell them the truth, you asked the lady in the passport office, and she advised that it was alright to do it that way. I have a good feeling that everything will work out wonderfully for you and J, as soon as you can get all your ducks in a row. Cheers, here is to lining up all your ducks...Happy days. MADxo [MAD Hatter] 2001-08-25 15:56:12

Passport Nightmares And Other Disasters........ I can't even begin to imagine all that you are going through. Hang in there though. Okay? It was an honest mistake, and the lady who helped you gave you bad advice with the addresses. I'm thinking that if anything did happen, at least you could have your word against hers. You DID ask if it would be okay to do that and such. You were misinformed, so I'm sure everything will be fine;) Try to smile:) [jello] 2001-08-21 15:01:57

Passport Nightmares And Other Disasters........ HEY anonymous. F U C K YOU. I will leave a comment because it's obvious you read a book about love and only have hate. SO piss off and go judge somewhere else. Now Fairie...what I was going to say, is they won't probably give you to much trouble since you did it in all good faith and not trying to be deceitful in any way. Don't give Anon another thought. Small minds can't think big thoughts. Be well